The Official Jokes Thread

James

Staff member
Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day, Kate, my wife and I went into town and visited a shop.

When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and I said,
Come on, man, how about giving a senior citizen a break? He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him an "a&%hole" . He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn-out tires.

So Kate called him a "
s#@t head". He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing more tickets. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote. Then he finished and left.

Just then our bus arrived, so
we got on it and went home. We always look for cars with "OBAMA 2012 stickers. We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired. It's important at our age.
 

James

Staff member
Submarine racing - Awesome pictures
The 2011 World Submarine Racing Championships.
Held in Newfoundland, Canada.
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Well, what the hell did you expect to see?
I hope the rest of your day goes better.
 

James

Staff member
IN A BAR

Two women were sitting next to each other at a bar. After a while, one looks at the other and says, 'I can't help but think, from listening to you, that you're from Ireland .'

The other woman responds proudly, 'Yes, I sure am!' The first one says, 'So am I! And where about in Ireland are ya from?'

The other woman answers, 'I'm from Dublin , I am.'

The first one responds, 'So, am I!! And what street did you live on in Dublin?'

The other woman says, 'A lovely little area. It was in the west end. I lived onWarbury Street in the old central part of town.'

The first one says, 'Faith, and it's a small world. So did I! So did I! And what school did ya go to?'

The other woman answers, 'Well now, I went to Holy Heart of Mary, of course..'

The first one gets really excited and says, 'And so did I! Tell me, what year did you graduate?'The other woman answers, 'Well, now, let's see. I graduated in 1964.'

The first woman exclaims, 'The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same pub tonight! Can you believe it? I graduated from Holy Heart of Mary in 1964 me self!'

About this time, Michael walks into the bar, sits down, and orders a beer.

Brian, the bartender, walks over to Michael shaking his head and mutters, 'It's going to be a long night tonight.'

Michael asks, 'Why do you say that, Brian?'
Brian answers, 'The Murphy twins are drunk again.
 
Heard this one last night........

-------------------------------


Q: Why are men smarter when having sex?

A: Because we are plugged into geniuses.

---------------------

Well I guess you had to be there.

:smirk:
 
Heard this one last night........

-------------------------------


Q: Why are men smarter when having sex?

A: Because we are plugged into geniuses.

---------------------

Well I guess you had to be there.

:smirk:
I don't get it???? No, really, I don't get it.....anymore......
 
Heard this one last night........

-------------------------------


Q: Why are men smarter when having sex?

A: Because we are plugged into geniuses.

---------------------

Well I guess you had to be there.

:smirk:
Are you giving us the OK.... :noidea:.... :smirk:
 
Not my philosophy just a joke!!!
Four kinds of sex with a women.
1) "Everywhere" This is what you have in the beginning.
2) "Bedroom" This is what you have once you are married.
3) "Hallway" When you pass each other and say "F" you, or give the finger.
4) "Courtroom" When she screws you out of everything in front of strangers.
 
Submarine racing - Awesome pictures
The 2011 World Submarine Racing Championships.
Held in Newfoundland, Canada.















Well, what the hell did you expect to see?
I hope the rest of your day goes better.
Did you steal this from N'Edge? :lol:
 
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