The Official Jokes Thread

The Black Bra (as told by a woman)



I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends.
One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been married for 20+ years.

We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes.

Here's how it all went.

My engaged friend:
The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my dreams...I love you.' Then we made passionate love all night long.

The mistress:
Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing a raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and mask over my eyes. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but he started to tremble and we had wild sex all night...

Then I had to share my story:
When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. When he came in the door and saw me he said,

(you are going to love this..)









" What's for dinner, Zorro?"
 
TIMBUKTU

A Poetry Competition was held in the Baton Rouge had come down to two finalists;

A) An LSU graduate.
VS
B) Boudreaux.

They were given a word, and then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a short four line poem that contained the word.

The word they were given was ' TIMBUKTU '.

First to recite his poem was the LSU graduate. He stepped to the microphone and said:

Slowly across the desert sand,
Trekked a lonely caravan
Men on camels, two by two
Destination - Timbuktu

The crowd went crazy !. No way could Boudreaux top that, they thought.

Boudreaux calmly made his way to the microphone and recited;

Me and Tim a huntin' went
Met three hoes in a pop up tent
They were three, and we were two
So I bucked one, and Timbuktu .

Boudreaux won.
 
TIMBUKTU

A Poetry Competition was held in the Baton Rouge had come down to two finalists;

A) An LSU graduate.
VS
B) Boudreaux.

They were given a word, and then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a short four line poem that contained the word.

The word they were given was ' TIMBUKTU '.

First to recite his poem was the LSU graduate. He stepped to the microphone and said:

Slowly across the desert sand,
Trekked a lonely caravan
Men on camels, two by two
Destination - Timbuktu

The crowd went crazy !. No way could Boudreaux top that, they thought.

Boudreaux calmly made his way to the microphone and recited;

Me and Tim a huntin' went
Met three hoes in a pop up tent
They were three, and we were two
So I bucked one, and Timbuktu .

Boudreaux won.

:prof: True story!





:smirk:
 
TIMBUKTU

A Poetry Competition was held in the Baton Rouge had come down to two finalists;

A) An LSU graduate.
VS
B) Boudreaux.

They were given a word, and then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a short four line poem that contained the word.

The word they were given was ' TIMBUKTU '.

First to recite his poem was the LSU graduate. He stepped to the microphone and said:

Slowly across the desert sand,
Trekked a lonely caravan
Men on camels, two by two
Destination - Timbuktu

The crowd went crazy !. No way could Boudreaux top that, they thought.

Boudreaux calmly made his way to the microphone and recited;

Me and Tim a huntin' went
Met three hoes in a pop up tent
They were three, and we were two
So I bucked one, and Timbuktu .

Boudreaux won.
Epicness
 
How I Learned To Mind My Own Buisness

I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were chanting, "13, 13, 13..." The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the planks, so I looked through to see what was going on.

Some idiot poked me in the eye with a stick, then they all started shouting, "14, 14, 14..."
 
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