So a penguin is driving his car in the desert. All of sudden his car breaks down. Luckily, he's pretty close to gas station. So he waddles behind his car and pushes it to the gas station. He asks the mechanic to take a look and find the problem. Mechanic tells him to come back in 30 minutes. So the penguin is getting hot being in the desert and all, and decides to find something to cool him off. He goes in the convenience store and buys some vanilla ice cream. He eats the ice cream and makes a big mess on his face. Finally he goes back to the mechanic to find out the problem. Mechanic says," Looks like you blew a seal." To which the penguin replies, "No, no. It's just a little ice cream."
We had an early Thanksgiving dinner on Saturday. We said grace, then my Dad followed up with saying that joke.
Then my 12 year old Asian brother followed up with this joke;
Three men who were lost in the jungle were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial.
The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits. The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples." The king then explained the trial to him."You have to shove the fruits up your butt without any expression on your face or you'll be eaten." The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out in pain, so he was killed. The second one arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... and on the ninth berry he burst out in laughter and was killed.
The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?" The second one replied,"I couldn't help it, I saw the third guy coming with pineapples."
Luckily Grandma was ok with it.