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DBA Gals, This Is For You
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<blockquote data-quote="Agent2" data-source="post: 41154" data-attributes="member: 17"><p>I am an equal opportunity insulter, so this list is for you ladies, enjoy -</p><p></p><p>> The Why's of Men</p><p>></p><p>> WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?</p><p>> (because they are plugged into a genius) </p><p> > -----------------------------------------------</p><p>> WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?</p><p>> (they don't have enough time)</p><p>> -----------------------------------------------</p><p>> WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?</p><p> > (they don't stop to ask directions)</p><p> > -----------------------------------------------</p><p>> (You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)</p><p>> -----------------------------------------------</p><p>> WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?</p><p>> (so they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties >-----------------------------------------------</p><p>> WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?</p><p>> (you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)</p><p>> -----------------------------------------------</p><p>> HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?</p><p>> (don't know.....it never happened)</p><p>> -----------------------------------------------</p><p>> WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?</p><p>> (because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)</p><p>> -----------------------------------------------</p><p>> Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your</p><p> > heart...</p><p>> Then you are just an old sour fart!</p><p>> -----------------------------------------------</p><p>> One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.</p><p> > Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me,</p><p>> 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'</p><p>> 'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'</p><p> > He yelled back, ' University of Oklahoma ..'</p><p>></p><p>> And they say blondes are dumb...</p><p>> -----------------------------------------------</p><p>> A couple is lying in bed.</p><p>> The man says,</p><p> > 'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.'</p><p>> The woman replies,</p><p>> 'I'll miss you...'</p><p>> -----------------------------------------------</p><p>> 'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out</p><p> > of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I</p><p>> mowed the lawn like this?'</p><p>> 'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.</p><p>> ---------------------------------------------</p><p> > Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?</p><p>> A: A rumor</p><p>> -----------------------------------------------</p><p>> Dear Lord,</p><p>> I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And</p><p> > Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll</p><p>> beat him to death.</p><p>> AMEN</p><p>> -----------------------------------------------</p><p>> Q: Why do little boys whine?</p><p>> A: They are practicing to be men.</p><p> > ----------------------------------------------</p><p>> Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and</p><p>> calling your name?</p><p>> A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough</p><p>> -----------------------------------------------</p><p> > Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?</p><p>> A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual..'</p><p>> -----------------------------------------------</p><p></p><p>I am now backing out of your forum, going back to my corner of DBA.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Agent2, post: 41154, member: 17"] I am an equal opportunity insulter, so this list is for you ladies, enjoy - > The Why's of Men > > WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX? > (because they are plugged into a genius) > ----------------------------------------------- > WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX? > (they don't have enough time) > ----------------------------------------------- > WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG? > (they don't stop to ask directions) > ----------------------------------------------- > (You're laughing, aren't you?!?!) > ----------------------------------------------- > WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS? > (so they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties >----------------------------------------------- > WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN? > (you need a rough draft before you make a final copy) > ----------------------------------------------- > HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN? > (don't know.....it never happened) > ----------------------------------------------- > WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH? > (because a vibrator can't mow the lawn) > ----------------------------------------------- > Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your > heart... > Then you are just an old sour fart! > ----------------------------------------------- > One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. > Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, > 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?' > 'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?' > He yelled back, ' University of Oklahoma ..' > > And they say blondes are dumb... > ----------------------------------------------- > A couple is lying in bed. > The man says, > 'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.' > The woman replies, > 'I'll miss you...' > ----------------------------------------------- > 'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out > of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I > mowed the lawn like this?' > 'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied. > --------------------------------------------- > Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? > A: A rumor > ----------------------------------------------- > Dear Lord, > I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And > Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll > beat him to death. > AMEN > ----------------------------------------------- > Q: Why do little boys whine? > A: They are practicing to be men. > ---------------------------------------------- > Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and > calling your name? > A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough > ----------------------------------------------- > Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? > A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual..' > ----------------------------------------------- I am now backing out of your forum, going back to my corner of DBA. [/QUOTE]
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