DBA Gals, This Is For You

I am an equal opportunity insulter, so this list is for you ladies, enjoy -

> The Why's of Men
>
> WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
> (because they are plugged into a genius)
> -----------------------------------------------
> WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
> (they don't have enough time)
> -----------------------------------------------
> WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
> (they don't stop to ask directions)
> -----------------------------------------------
> (You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)
> -----------------------------------------------
> WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
> (so they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties >-----------------------------------------------
> WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
> (you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)
> -----------------------------------------------
> HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
> (don't know.....it never happened)
> -----------------------------------------------
> WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
> (because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)
> -----------------------------------------------
> Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your
> heart...
> Then you are just an old sour fart!
> -----------------------------------------------
> One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.
> Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me,
> 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
> 'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
> He yelled back, ' University of Oklahoma ..'
>
> And they say blondes are dumb...
> -----------------------------------------------
> A couple is lying in bed.
> The man says,
> 'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.'
> The woman replies,
> 'I'll miss you...'
> -----------------------------------------------
> 'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out
> of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I
> mowed the lawn like this?'
> 'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
> ---------------------------------------------
> Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
> A: A rumor
> -----------------------------------------------
> Dear Lord,
> I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And
> Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll
> beat him to death.
> AMEN
> -----------------------------------------------
> Q: Why do little boys whine?
> A: They are practicing to be men.
> ----------------------------------------------
> Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and
> calling your name?
> A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough
> -----------------------------------------------
> Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
> A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual..'
> -----------------------------------------------

I am now backing out of your forum, going back to my corner of DBA.
 
I am an equal opportunity insulter, so this list is for you ladies, enjoy -

> The Why's of Men
>
> WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
> (because they are plugged into a genius)
> -----------------------------------------------
> WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
> (they don't have enough time)
> -----------------------------------------------
> WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
> (they don't stop to ask directions)
> -----------------------------------------------
> (You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)
> -----------------------------------------------
> WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
> (so they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties >-----------------------------------------------
> WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
> (you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)
> -----------------------------------------------
> HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
> (don't know.....it never happened)
> -----------------------------------------------
> WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
> (because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)
> -----------------------------------------------
> Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your
> heart...
> Then you are just an old sour fart!
> -----------------------------------------------
> One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.
> Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me,
> 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
> 'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
> He yelled back, ' University of Oklahoma ..'
>
> And they say blondes are dumb...
> -----------------------------------------------
> A couple is lying in bed.
> The man says,
> 'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.'
> The woman replies,
> 'I'll miss you...'
> -----------------------------------------------
> 'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out
> of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I
> mowed the lawn like this?'
> 'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
> ---------------------------------------------
> Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
> A: A rumor
> -----------------------------------------------
> Dear Lord,
> I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And
> Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll
> beat him to death.
> AMEN
> -----------------------------------------------
> Q: Why do little boys whine?
> A: They are practicing to be men.
> ----------------------------------------------
> Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and
> calling your name?
> A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough
> -----------------------------------------------
> Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
> A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual..'
> -----------------------------------------------

I am now backing out of your forum, going back to my corner of DBA.
:kissass:...fealing guilty about something you did? :P
 
I am an equal opportunity insulter, so this list is for you ladies, enjoy -

> The Why's of Men
>
> WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
> (because they are plugged into a genius)
> -----------------------------------------------
> WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
> (they don't have enough time)
> -----------------------------------------------
> WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
> (they don't stop to ask directions)
> -----------------------------------------------
> (You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)
> -----------------------------------------------
> WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
> (so they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties >-----------------------------------------------
> WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
> (you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)
> -----------------------------------------------
> HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
> (don't know.....it never happened)
> -----------------------------------------------
> WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
> (because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)
> -----------------------------------------------
> Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your
> heart...
> Then you are just an old sour fart!
> -----------------------------------------------
> One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.
> Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me,
> 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
> 'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
> He yelled back, ' University of Oklahoma ..'
>
> And they say blondes are dumb...
> -----------------------------------------------
> A couple is lying in bed.
> The man says,
> 'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.'
> The woman replies,
> 'I'll miss you...'
> -----------------------------------------------
> 'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out
> of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I
> mowed the lawn like this?'
> 'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
> ---------------------------------------------
> Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
> A: A rumor
> -----------------------------------------------
> Dear Lord,
> I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And
> Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll
> beat him to death.
> AMEN
> -----------------------------------------------
> Q: Why do little boys whine?
> A: They are practicing to be men.
> ----------------------------------------------
> Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and
> calling your name?
> A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough
> -----------------------------------------------
> Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
> A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual..'
> -----------------------------------------------

I am now backing out of your forum, going back to my corner of DBA.
Back the ....out!:smirk:

Those are pretty darn funny! I have to agree with many of them:thumb:
 
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