You lost me with "no penetration".While sitting on a rock watching the King of the Hamers race last Friday my buddy and I overheard this guy telling his 2 buddies about his "little dog" and how his wife likes to dress it up and how cute she looks. The start giving him shit for that comment...My buddy had seen him the previous day at their camp site and a wife was no where to be seen so keep this in mind further on into the story. They as had we been drinking a little and this guy was getting a little talk-a-tive and decided to tell his buddies (and the rest of us within ear shot) that "he" dressed his dog up in a little school girl skirt because his wife said to (remember the previous report about the wife). He said she really looked cute in it nd had a matching sweater, etc, etc, etc. ..his buddies were laughing their asses off when he throws THIS ONE out there...he said that while he was lying down on the bed in his MH the dog had jumped up and "snuggled" against him so, he pulled her in tight to him.... Again his buddies couldn't stop laughing, my buddy looked at me and we both said WTF at the same time...his buddies start giving him more shit for snuggling with his little prissy dog when he comes back and says this "but there was no penetration"...my buddy says to me "someone ought to pull his man card", I turned around and told him that when they were leaving the desert he might be able to redeem his man card at the nearest bar in Lucerne Valley, they all start busting up, one of his buddies goes even further and says redeem it hell, I think it ought to be punched complete and thrown away! I think they were drinking "girls light....."
I did too but, I did mine over the grill........
My Brother went riding this weekend with some work buddies, and a friend of one, that was a retired 67 year old man. He was telling of a buddy named Paul Whitfield (I can't remember the exact name, but we'll go with that), that back in the 70's, he and his girlfriend would go way up the 395, and camp, and fish. One time camping, they had heard noises coming from the other side of the hill. So, they climbed to the top of the ridge, and there at the bottom of the other side, was a space ship, complete with flashing lights, steam coming out from underneath, and aliens all around it. They were actually hearding cattle onto the ship. Not believing their eyes, they just sat and watched for a while, trying to comprehend what they were seeing. Then, out of nowhere, some sort of creature materialized right in front of them, and waved some sort of stick in front of their faces. Well, next thing they know, he woke the next morning, shivering cold, up on the ridge where they were the night before. Paul, not sure if he dreamed all that he saw, woke his girlfriend up, and asked, "Did you see what I saw?" She freaked out ctying, and confirmed everything that he saw too. I guess they didn't go right back and blab the story, thinking everyone would think they were on acid, but slowly, eventually, Paul had told this guy that my Bro had rode with.
Fast foward to a few years ago, this older gentleman, was looking for a bike, and found one on Craigslist. Well, it turned out the guy lived just a block away from him. I guess the guy had 2 dirt bikes, and never rode one, so he was getting rid of it. The night he went to look at it, the 2 hit it off very well, and BS'd for a cou[ple hours. The sellers wife came out with some beers, and told her husband to tell the story of what happened to them, camping off the 395, back in the 70's. As you probably already guessed, they saw the same thing, complete with the creature and the stick.
The old guy freaked, and told them, it happened to his friend also, way back then. After all the goose bumps went down, and they were closing the deal on the bike, when he got the pink slip of his new scooter, the owner he had been talking to was also named, PAUL WHITFIELD.
Did Ed get the cow's phone number?Not sure if I ever told this one on this thread may have but to lazy to check......so here it comes again if I did!
Me, my buddy, his dad and 2 of his friends are out at Red Rock Canyon or Jawbone...don't remember which and not familiar which one it could be...been to each place once! Anyways...we go for a ride a looooooong ride that took up up dirt roads, into the foot hills, slowly turning into mountains, etc...(saw a sign that said Lake Isabella 25 miles )...the leader of our group (ED) was riding his YZ 360 () hauling azzzz around a big sweeper when WHAM he ran straight into a cows azz..........we didn't see it happen being the tail of this dog but I guess he hit her pretty hard...the cow trotted off but not too far to join the rest of the herd. we roll up, Ed picks himself up dusts himself off and said MAN what the hell just happened...Neil, my buddies dad said you just clocked that cow in the ass...you alright? Yeah I guess, bending rubbing everything making sure he aint broke when he notices his front number plate is missing...Now, you've got to know Ed, he's a goofy sum-bitch)...You guys see my front number plate anywhere? We looked for it and it is no where to be found...now remember, the cow he hit didn't run off too far...we look over at her and she's standing there looking at us (actually Ed) with a real pissed off look on her face. He looks at us and asks you think....naw, no way.........we weren't about to walk over and check since she was pissed and again what are the odds the plate got STUCK IN HER BUTT? Well, that's his story and he's stuck to it ever since...as for his bike and the rest of the ride. He never got it running, no rope, so the OLD MEN took off their belts (all of them were wearing jeans ), buckled them together and towed Ed back to camp. In the mean time Steve and I rode out front making sure we were going the right direction (we had no idea, they just pointed and we rode)...the area when up on the plateaus looks flat, you can't see a canyon until you're right next to it...We had ridden for a while and decided to stop and wait for the other guys to catch up because we weren't sure where the heck we were so we sat and waited, and waited, and waited (no refreshments...water, nuttin) for what seemed like hours...finally they ride up. Well, you find camp? HECK NO...no idea where we are....they took off, rode up not even 100 yards and there's the canyon with our camp...we sat there (less than 100 yards away from a cold beer) the entire time wondering if we were lost!!!!!! ...fun time though!...